What is Bullying?
Let’s define what bulling really is:
Bullying falls under these (2) Categories:
- Abuse: (4) components: Repeated Over and Over/intentional to hurt/imbalance of power/aggressive behavior on purpose/ the bully wants to hurt another person either with words or action.
Verbal Bullying: Insults/embarrassments/name calling/threats and often using a high volume voice. They might spread lies and rumors.
Physical Bullying: The bully is consistently ambushing you by pushing, shoving or running into to you. Maybe it’s worse, such as tripping or constant assaults.
- Violence-Which could lead to serious injury or death-Your choices are fighting or escaping. No negotiation. Fortunately this is the Least common.
- What Bullying Is Not:
Bullying is not Conflict: which is most of what we deal with. Arguing-getting mad/pushing and shoving. Both have the same power. Please don’t confuse conflict with bullying.
If a problem arises with a person once, that person may be a jerk, but it’s not bullying.
Diffrent Ways of Bullying:
Direct bullying: Constant hitting/kicking /shoving/name calling or obscene gesture.
Indirect Bullying: getting another person to assault someone/spreading rumors/Social isolation
Cyber bullying: anonymous-set up fake FaceBook page. (Being mean behind a screen).
Boys bully more than girls. Boys get bullied mostly by boys. Girls get bullied by both.
Bullying happens for kids, mostly in school: teachers catch only about 5% of bullying behavior. In High school it happens less.
Signs of bullying: It makes the victim feel depressed, fearful and alone. They may not feel safe. They lack motivation often. The victim often blames themselves for the abuse. Bullying leads to depression/anxiety/suicide/lower academic achievement.
Why do they bully: Many reasons-Peer pressure in groups/maybe they are bullied/maybe they are just a jerk or like to show off.
Why it is bad to bully others: because it has a negative impact on everyone, including the bully. Successful human interactions require respect. It takes a person’s dignity away. It’s the opposite of respect.
Preventing Bullying:
What if it is you that is being bullied? What do you do?
- If the abuse is done to us consistently, then you know its bullying. If it happens once or twice, just avoid the person and take the high road and walk away.
If it is bullying:
- Taking Martial Arts and getting your Black Belt is the best thing you can do. If you have a friend being bullied encourage them to train in MA and get their Black Belt.
- Don’t feed the fire-don’t give them reasons to bully you. Be respectful, watch your comments. Sometimes we wear a kick me sign, and then wonder why we are kicked.
- The use of humor and wit, that isn’t threatening to the bully may tame the bullying a little.
- Let an adult know-your teacher/parents/principle/coach… For adults: Boss/police/spouse-get it on record.
- Finally- You may have to stand up to the bully. You have to commit to doing what it takes to stop this.
- Also consider stepping in for another kid or person: “come with me, you don’t need this,” and pull them away.
What we find is, after you stand up to the bully, and pop their balloon, not only do you feel better, but the bully respects you and many times wants to be your friend. Jekyl and Hyde can change overnight.
I hope this gives you a little more insight so you are better prepared.